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Why I Fell Out Of Love With Blogging

Tuesday, 18 July 2017

It's been such a long time since I wrote a blog post, I think I have forgotten how to write one, and probably will come across blunt as ever during this post.PS: I am so aware that the image is extremely unrelated!  I remember being so in love with blogging, but so many things steered me away from my love for it. I have been trying to fall back in love with blogging for a long, long time.. But I overthought the whole blogging process over and over, which actually made me hate the idea of coming back. However, after the last few months, it had really occurred to me how much I missed writing. That is why I am coming back with a post on why I fell out of love with blogging.

Firstly, the pressure of posting on time. I think every blogger will relate to this as sometimes blogging can sometimes feel like a chore or a job, more than a hobby. I used to set strict time tables where I would make sure I wrote a post, thought of ideas, take photos, edit photos, buy products, test products, check comments, reply to comments, edit posts, publish posts, promote posts, take part in twitter chats, instagram photos and over and over again. Then when I didn't stick to my time table or missed the day I was meant to post, I would be so disappointed in myself - and for what? I needed to remind myself that blogging was just a hobby. I'm not some first class, fantastic magazine editor or author - although I'd love to be, I am me, a blogger. 

Secondly, as well as my strict time table, I was full time at college and had a weekend job, a boyfriend, family, friends and a gym membership to juggle too. I have just finished my last year in college and I realized how much work I had to put into it, so I had to prioritize what was more important. But with everything, blogging became unimportant and the last thing I would think about. I now have more time on my hands and undoubtedly have missed blogging because it was my only hobby. 

Thirdly, opinions. I have always struggled with the idea of people I know personally knowing about my blog. There have been many times where I have had the courage to promote my posts publicly and later on I have had a few snide comments about it - people telling me I think I'm someone who I'm not, or trying to be something I never will be. It has made me feel anxious and upset previously, but I have however come to the conclusion that I am a blogger and that is someone I am, not what I think I am and I am a blogger, I'm not trying to be one, because I am. 

Also, the idea of not being as good as another blogger. I have heard so many bloggers say about them feeling not as good as other bloggers, whether it's their blog design or content, or whether it's how many followers they have on social media. I never thought of it, until I started feeling it. I always said reading other blogs made me inspired and kept me up on the times, but it got to the point where I would look further into reading blogs and looking at their designs and hating how mine looked, wishing it would be more professional or more pretty. But the thing is, my blog represents me and now that I realize that, maybe I will stop looking and start being inspired again.

Finally, losing my friend. My best friend and I began our blogs together at the same time in 2015, went to London to a blogger event together and even started a blog with a group of other girls together. This year we became distant and we are no longer stay in touch, which has made me fall out of blogging a lot. The reason behind this is because I was unsure of how to come back without her and I always thought "who's going to read my posts now?". However, as time has gone by, I have accepted that this is the way it is and I have to find my love for blogging again, even if it is without her. I'm unsure whether Tiffany will start her blog again, although one last time I want to suggest you go and read her wonderful blog here

I have decided to start back blogging because I have genuinely missed it. I have missed the wonderful blogger community, as well as being part of it. I am happy to say that I am back and that I am looking into rebranding soon - once I get back on track as I have basically forgotten how to do everything.  


A Reflection And New Beginnings!

Sunday, 1 January 2017

Right now I'm writing this in 2016 and by the end of writing this it'll be 2017. All day I have been reflecting on 2016, thinking about all the wonderful times, along with all the tears which came with it.

In 2016 I turned 18. Turning 18 was amazing, but strange because I could do a whole lot more than what I could do before. I'm an 'adult' now. A month after I passed my driving test, something I never thought was possible at the time, but I passed first time!

In June I went to London with my best friend for the first time not on a school trip. I learned that I love London and travelling is something that I really want to do. I had my very own first car in June too and my life has never been the same since.

 In August I got my AS Level results back and saw that I had passed all my exams!! The grades were not brilliant, but I failed them back in 2015 so this was a huge achievement for me, despite crashing into the college wall just before getting them.... oops! 

In September I started my A Level year. I also decided that September was time for change and time to invest in myself instead of others. In September I realized that I needed to focus on my future and my health. I knew that I would be in college every day in the week and working both Saturday and Sunday on the weekend. I also knew that A Levels were really important and that I needed to really focus on them and revise and be organised. This is when I realized that I needed to change something in my life. I made a very long, hard thought out decision that I didn't want to be in a relationship anymore. In 2015 and 2016 I invested the majority of my time in my relationship. It wasn't an easy decision to make, but it was one which was going to make me happier in the long run. I also learned that it is hard to let something go when you have tried so hard to make it something. This is where I realized that in order to make something special it takes more than one person to do so, it has to be mutual.

However, I didn't take the break up so well myself. I was supposed to invest in myself but instead I found myself forcing distractions. I'd be going out with friends all the time. That was good, however it wasn't so good that I was too tired to go to college the next day, or too tired to do anything at all really. Until the end of September where I crossed paths with someone I used to know. It's weird how the past repeats itself. It's also weird how you can still feel the exact same about someone in an instant as how you left. So, I started dating someone who has been very special to me for years.

(Sorry Steff!)
The last three months have been brilliant for me. I did after all invest time in myself, along with my education, my friends and my family. In 2016 I realized how special family was. Family is everything. It doesn't matter how dysfunctional my family can be sometimes, I still love it. I love trying my best for them, I love helping them and most of all I love the idea that I can make them happy. I am ready to invest in everything in my life in 2017, no matter how hard, how tiring it will be, because the reward always comes at the end.

I'm ending the year with the best people. I have my wonderful family and friends. Also my boyfriend which I am super excited to spend 2017 with, after all it took us way too long to come this far. I met some wonderful people in 2016 and am leaving some wonderful people there too. For those who I am leaving behind, you made my year a special one. I never forget but I will always move forward.

What about blogging? Blogging has also brought me wonderful things this year. I have met some wonderful people and I have never felt so part of something in this wonderful community. I took the plunge to go to London for a blogging event, which was something I never thought I would do. I entered the world of PR which was another thing I thought I wouldn't do. Blogging has also taught me a lot of coding, which actually helps a lot! I also got a bunch of lovely bloggers together to join me on another blog, this was the best part!

I haven't been blogging much at all the last few months because I have been shying away from it. However, in 2017 I'm hoping to broaden my blog and change it up entirely.

So here's to starting fresh and to new beginnings! Happy New Year, have a lovely one!


My Bucket List

Monday, 24 October 2016

I have never really considered a bucket list as I've always just kind of.. well, done whatever whenever.. But recently I've really been thinking about everything I want to achieve in my hopefully long life and decided it's time to start making my bucket list!

- Skydive whilst I'm still 18
- Learn how to surf and hopefully be good at it
- Travel the world, visit every continent and experience it all alone, with someone I love or my friends.
- Climb the Eiffel Tower
- Ride in a Gondola in Venice
- Climb an active volcano
- Go on a road trip to Amsterdam
- Scuba Dive (preferably the Great Barrier Reef)
- Go on a romantic camping trip (cringe??) and camp on a beach!
- Cliff Diving
- Volunteer / Really work abroad
- Go to Australia and New Zealand
- Get married in Las Vegas
- Catch a last minute flight to a random destination
- Swim in a waterfall
- Watch turtles hatch and run to the ocean
- Start my own magazine
- Run my own charity
- Lock a love lock with someone I love on the Paris bridge

Do you have any of these on your bucket list? I'd love to know!